nila_rena: (bartok: lie)

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game

both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year,

male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.  

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known…...

ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

                                               MERRY CHRISTMAS GIRLS ! 


 

nila_rena: (lmfao)
Abbie send me a mean funny email again.I have now idea where people always find that stuff but I love it.

nila_rena: (lmfao)
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% prob ability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those that wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14 . The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty
nila_rena: (lmfao)
I know I haven't updated in a while and I promise it will happen eventually, but I just got an email from a friend and nearly pissed myself laughing.

Cut for lenght


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